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And You Will Be Fascinated By Defeat - Patton Oswalt

I’m fascinated by John McCain. Forty years from now, some future James Ellroy (or Ellroy himself, if we can find a way to remove his head and attach it to an indestructible writer-bot) will write a “Millennium Trilogy”, covering the Clintons, the rise and fall of Bush, and the ascendancy of Obama. We stumbled into the early 90’s, led by a Southern good ole boy on a constant pussy hunt. But the good ole boy made everyone richer and then got impeached for a blow job. Then it was time to enter the new millennium with an East Coast, rich-boy, born-again cokehead draft dodger who got us into an unnecessary war. Now we’re about to elect a black guy raised by a single mom, whose middle name is the same as the dictator we toppled in the bullshit war the cowardly draft dodger started.

  • 3 years ago
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